Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Love patterns and Circles

Are you Even Ready??

 We might often feel that we are "ready for love" like India Arie ( however, this is often NOT the case. The girl who can't seem to be happy without a guy in the picture (aka she ALWAYS has one on the go) doesn't truly know what she wants. She only knows she can't be alone or 'happy' alone. I don't advise women to treat love like a career because it's not natural, but many do. A sense of desperation and a need to rush into love can only result in failure. Mind you, there is always an exception to every rule or assumption. I am a firm believer in fate, but i don't think you can steer the course of your own love boat. Love does find you, but you have to be open to it and you have to be patient. First you have to accept that you DO deserve it and secondly, you have to acknowledge your own personal love pattern so you can learn from your past love mistakes. How do you achieve this?

I have discovered two simple exercises, which will benefit you greatly if you are able to notice the signs.  This can be a fun solo, retrospective activity or done with a bunch of girlfriends over drinks. First, make a list of all the significant people, which you have dated. If it was me I would include birthdays to note the astrological pattern, but I understand most people don't pay attention to this component or remember birthdays. The people you pick don't all have to be boyfriends/girlfriends. Make a list of all the positive things you like/liked about them (stemming for an emotional, physical, spiritual, financial and intellectual perspective). If you base the qualities on these five categories you will also be able to perceive what's most important to you in a relationship, you may be surprised. On the flip of this do the exact same thing but for the negative traits. After you've done this for all of them, take a look at the patterns, what did you discover? After reviewing, make a list of  five qualities, which will become your DEAL BREAKERS and this means you will NOT be willing to compromise on these things. For example, "must have job".  I"m sure most of you are familiar with The Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger who is responsible for these exercises. Her book is actually an interesting, yet quick/easy, easy read, which contains the dynamics of these exercises in detail :  

 In simulation to Stanger's exercise, I learned something useful from a spiritual leader/fortune teller. It is called a "Love Circle" and this how it works :
  • Make a perfect circle on a piece of paper
  • Write LOVE at the top, underline in
  • Inside the circle write ONLY the things you want in a relationship, i.e. "emotional security"
  • This does not include things like "big dick" or "nice teeth", it only includes the qualities and emotions, which you've learned you need to have 
  • Then (this part is a bit cheese) you are suppose to "breath in" the circle, study it, and become spiritual towards want you want in believing that it will come true (*remember you can't have everything so really only write the things you cannot compromise on*)
  • Remember your beliefs do shape your experiences so believing it will come true one day is key
  • Saying stuff like, "I'm going to end up alone". will only perpetuate negative love cycles 
  • If your circle needs to change for any reason you are suppose to destroy the last circle, the spiritual leader suggests burning it. It needs to be 100% gone in order for the new circle to circulate. 

This might sound a bit "hocus pocus" for some but the activity is actually quite effective because it allows you to see not only what you want, but encourages you to believe in it, which is half the battle.Sometimes you just need the truth in writing, starting at you within the confines of a perfect circle to remind you : NEVER SETTLE.

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