Thursday, September 15, 2011

You're Gonna Wish You Never Had Met Me: Is Love the New Hate?

It is likely that many, if not most of you, have that one ever-hanging skeleton in your closet that almost never seems to go away. You may have tried to literally break the bones of this structured ghost , but yet their irritating memory doesn't seem to fade. This is the person you wish you never met. Perhaps someone who hurt you in a short span of time or possibly someone you've truly loved for a long time. This is the person who you feel you "could have had it all" with, but yet there was always something or someone in the way. Often or not, we are addicted to the person who doesn't give up the validation we desire or deserve. The rejection, the drama and the thrill of the monkey chase becomes an obsession of its own: how am I going to get you? 
It is a newly entertained speculation that hate is the new love. Have you ever found yourself completely fixated on someone who was never going to give you what you wanted? Perhaps even someone who wasn't even truly worth caring for? In your mind you created this surreal connection, which you felt couldn't be topped by another human being? Only to find it's just that you won't let it. You won't let the memory die because you feel like you'll never be heard -- and you may never be heard. It depends who are dealing with. Read the horoscopes below to see how your man/woman might deal with you astrologically. KEEP IN MIND THAT THE RELATIONSHIPS YOU SEEK TO ENGAGE IN, INDIRECTLY REFLECT HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF.

 For example, your really confident and outgoing friend, who is in the "perfect relationship" is not lowering her personally high standards for anyone. He/she knows what they deserve and are not settling for less. If you find yourself going after the guy/girl who doesn't give you a inch it is likely because you don't value yourself enough.  Why else would you endure crap? If you chose to, this will make it easy for that said person to take advantage of your personal feelings. This comes into play in friendships too. Sometimes we seek certain friends because we can control them, because they will worship us and most importantly because they fill a void, which we lack within ourselves. Figure out what's most important in order for you to actually self-develop into the person you want to be, apart from anyone else.
Figure out what position you take and what you can an cannot handle. For example, not everyone was meant to play the field, but yes, some can. There are people who simply bring out the worst in others. If you find yourself acting out of character or doing things, which are beneath you, ask yourself how healthy or beneficial is this person is in your life? There will always be that one person, whether it is an ex, a passionate crush or a person who never gave you the time of day, and no matter how exciting these feelings may be, at one point you will find yourself wishing that you had never met this person to begin with! Why? Because no matter how great they were for how long, they were never truly a benefit to your life nor were they capable of seeing the best in you. Yet they still managed to get the best of you, right? Or they left you with a pile of crap that you're not prepared to deal with. The person who does the hurting is the person with the most power, initially, but don't be a victim of unrequited love, take it back. How do you achieve this? Time. Time is a bitch, but she's the only thing true in this world you can count on. When disaster strikes, one can be assured knowing that in a matter of time, destruction will repair, no matter how many fragments or bruises or scars or sad video documentations are left to keep reminding you. There is a letter of love through all the pain, you just have to let it find you, don't go looking for it. You will never find it this way.  You might even touch it, you might know it already, but you'll feel the key turn in the lock when you BELIEVE the true rhetoric of your own bullshit. This is the part that takes time. If you pretend for a second that you are another person, someone else, other than you, than you likely have the BEST, most profound, intelligent advice to give yourself, but you can't take it. At least not right now, and there is nothing wrong with that. As long as you are aware of your own trek and the distance you still have to make up for.
As this blog likes to stress, Fall is a relationship month, but it is also a time for the self to seek a sense of personal appeasement. HOROSCOPE TIME:
AQUARIUS: (January 20-February 19): You might just be the person that plenty of people wish they had never met. Go figure. You are a natural born charmer who can woo the best of them. Even so, you are the most likely, out of any sign to stay in good company with your past lovers. Aquarius exercises the element of friendliness to the best degree. If there was something attractive, which they saw in you initially, they likely still see it or will see it again. Aquarius is multi-faceted and will be attracted and un-attracted to certain people for various reasons, but on the whole front they want to be as cordial as possible. This is usually the case if AQ have the ability to play the field and jerk various people around without any capacity for consequence. AQAQ can become an entirely different, grounded and emotionally invested person who will not surrender the best interest of their partner. If AQ got away from you, it might be hard to get over, they are everywhere, attractive, charming and don't give a fuck (like seriously why are they so un-phased by you right?) Aquarius is in their own unique world and not likely to succumb to your needs for validation. They are going to have fun, without or without your sulking face lingering in the corner. If you do something wrong or display something, which could be perceived as deal breaker, they known almost automatically that they won't date you. This isn't to say that they won't fuck you or spend time with you, but let it be know, AQ is the master of the one night stand.  They are only committed sexually if they are truly mentally attracted and will know by your actions, whether or not you are a suitable partner. This is why they are very capable of having a one nighter or a fling, they are wise enough to know that once is enough. If they do come back for more, they will only complicate things emotionally, and if AQ isn't into you, they want play and passion, but they don't want enemies. Don't read into their charming ways, they can't always help them, and don't worry, in time you likely won't feel the wrath of AQ, but you'll have to get over it first because sometimes AQ is easily loathed from an EX perspective because they usually move on fairly quickly, and usually to better.
TAURUS (May 20-April 20): You won't forget this person if there is one and you are likely still in their life to some degree. The bull often takes possession of the heart (of you) in relationships and they don't like to give back anything for free. They will take it all if they can. You likely have some kind of weird hold on your EX. Either this, or you can easily revert back to your own personal feelings about the relationship. Taurus is very stubborn in their emotions and while they might forgive, they don't forget. They will bestow kindness upon you or fuck off completely and they make it very clear, publicly that they are not happy to see you.
If Taurus feels someone got away, they won't go away, if they experienced real feelings with someone, Taurus can distract, but they can't initially let go. If Taurus is the one who got away from you, there might be a lot of "shit, they are so fucking great", and yeah, they probably are. Taurus people are phenomenal and exceedingly loyal, grounded and dependable people to have in your life, but their needs are simple and extravagant at the same time, if you don't meet them, they won't give you the run around. Try as you might to get over the bull, if they are running circles in your brain, it is likely because they are not coming back. Unless, they loved you, if they loved you, it's only a matter of time until the question of reconciliation presents itself. The bull will just need time to get their affairs in order. Earlier I said Taurus doesn't go away, and this is especially true if they think they love you. They will fuck you and be your best friend, until finally you see, it was fucking meant to be!
PISCES (February 19-March 20): You won't stop thinking or daydreaming about this person, let alone chatting away about them. Sometimes it feels to anyone who listens with a willing ear. You secretly crave resolution and harmony with everyone so it kills you when people retreat in time and inner solace. You might go a little psycho when you do have it bad for someone, but your intentions are rarely in the wrong place. You have a feisty side, so Pisces girl is especially likely to get fresh if someone is infringing upon her territory. They also have a hard time letting things go because Pisces is very likely to blame them self for whatever went astray. They are also more prone to experience their own abuse through others and put up with a lot of unholy circumstances. It almost has to happen to someone else (by the same person) in order for them to see how shitty someone is.
If Pisces is the one that got away, I'm sorry. They don't like to make enemies with anyone, if they can help it. Even though, there will always be a few, distinct personality types that Pisces will never truly mix with. This being said, Pisces will string you along, play mind games and still entertain you in a sexual nature. Pisces has a highly addictive personality and sex is usually one of them. If you had good sex with a Pisces, they will want to come back for more. Even if they know you are no good or not good enough. They also want attention from the opposite sex -- and go back and forth a lot when they are lonely. Meaning they will weigh the pros and cons and consider you again if they are in a desperate position. It is not rare for a Pisces to work it out with someone from the past when they feel ready. There is a very child-like essence to the Pisces, sometimes they live like Peter Pan and never want to grow up. They might reject normal relationships for the fear of missing out on the excitement. It's like they want someone but they don't want to be tied down in an annoying "we're a couple" kind of way. Pisces needs to learn that they will never get what they want until they truly value them self. Dwelling, never got the fish anywhere, but if you're simply looking to make peace with your past Pisces, validation from others is highly important to them so you will likely get the solace you crave. Either that or it will be so very obvious that Pisces wants nothing to do with you, let alone look at you. You will feel the disdain and unspoken messages in the room, especially upon the dance floor.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): As stated before, Gems are not big on dwelling on people from the past, but because they attract so many suitors, there is likely someone who they will shoot daggers at or who will shoot daggers at them. The daggers come from Gemini if it was someone who didn't give them the attention they desired. This or they will just work harder in order to get it. The role of," the one who got away", is more likely for Gemini, but the one who didn't value Gemini is unfathomable, and therefore Gem will makes that person feel small with cheap insults and shitty, self-indulgent banter. Gemini is the king/queen of drama, maybe they didn't even ask for it and become a victim of it. Maybe they started it or maybe they are just involved in other people's drama. This will consume Gemini if they let it. Gems are usually very charming (or very fucking quiet and weird) so if they are the one that got away, you won't necessarily understand why things went wrong. They said all the right things. They made all the right moves.
 Geminis are very flirtatious and like to have opposite sex situations occurring, but they are also very capable of stringing along a few prospects at the same time. It really just depends on where their head is at, if they aren't up for a relationship or ready for commitment it will show BIG TIME. She just may not be able to handle how many chic friends you have just as he may not understand how tight you are with all the guys. Gems are great at using their style and attractiveness to get what they want. At times they may even play dumb in order to create emphasis to their physical beauty, but be careful because the Gem is very wily and clever at the core. They have a way of getting what they want somehow, they just have to learn how to not listen to the self-destructive twin.If they want to work their magic, they will.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 20): You try your best to love em' and leave em', you try even harder to invest little emotions at the risk of protecting yourself, but when you fall hard, and let go of someone who could have had it all with -- you treat the relationship exactly like a competition, and as stated before, Sag hates to lose. Sag needs to look at these love losses as means for self gain, open up more, take even more risks and see where it gets you. Come out of that shell, which is surrounded by familiar adventures and people and see the world in a new light. No one is tallying up your loses, except for you, everyone sees your ability to win and win well. You're an amazing friend and a hard worker and deserve the  glory days
Sag is the dictionary definition of a player in that they love the game, and love to play in general. This doesn't always mean playing other people, but if they got away from you, they likely had game greed on the mind. They likely took the best exit to win because as stated earlier, they don't lose. Sag is the big boss player, and even if he/she pulled out all the stops, emotionally they are capable of coveting and won't be affected when they flee. You will be though. You will harp on their selfish nature and curse at how you still see them every where, and can't escape the memory of their flamboyant seduction. They charm naturally, but if rebuffed, will feel defeated. They don't like to be the person who is not calling the shots. If you try to cut Sag, they won't feel comfortable about you, but at the same time they might wish that you two were cool. They won't want you around and they won't know how to express how they truly feel towards you, which is likely just a mind-numbing state of awkwardness for the emotionally challenged Sag.
CAPRICORN (December 21-January 19): You like Taurus won't eliminate the one who could be getting away, you will stomp them when they least expect it. Capricorn has a natural sense of sensibility to them, which makes them appear calculated and old-fashioned. In reality, they have the ability to be wild, simply they need to meet the right person who will bring this out. If someone got away from Capricorn they will likely need to move on with someone else, almost instantly, or retreat in denial and obsession of the past and stay single for lengthy periods of time. Capricorn is not prepared to lose validation from anyone, if they feel entitled to it, they will get it. IF you have been burned by a Capricorn, don't expect them to come back. They will stick around until they are absolutely sure they are done with you. They might even come back at some point, in a ghost-like fashion, but the moment they say they are gone for good, they mean it. Their actions and words will be direct and to the point. Capricorn will only give sugar when they want to and this can't be forced. They love to please others and do well in creation, business and service, but they can't be forced into anything. He has the ability to be the biggest fucking asshole if charged--and she will throw down if you come at her. Capricorn might seem innocent, but fucking push their buttons and watch them blow up. They can hold down in a fight if they need to because they are pretty sure that they "know better". If Capricorn doesn't appear to be a sincerely good person, don't be concerned with getting their goodbye blessing, move forward, in time, you'll see how it didn't matter to begin with.
SCORPIO (October 23-November 21): The one that got away is likely in your bed right now as you read this. The reigns of a Scorpio are very tight, and once emotionally invested Scorpio finds it really hard to get out. In turn, when you are caught in the Scorpio trap, it is super hard to flee. You've likely been in and out of each other like a figure 8, which always seems to lead you back to each other, in the center of all your crap. Scorpio has a really hard time getting over someone they cared for, they will move on super slow, slug-mode or not at all. If Scorpio had a very long, serious and intense relationship (like Scorpios often do) it could take centuries for a true and successful detox to occur. They may be able to have crushes, but sexually they are an emotional sign. Meaning he/she will either fuck and fuck a lot to soften the pain, or he won't even be able to get it up because he's so emotionally pent up. She'll just concern herself in the sex lives and problems of others, but pursue nothing for herself (which she takes to heart) simply because she isn't over the past and is super independent. IF Scorpio got away and they aren't coming back to you, don't try to win them over. They are the master of NOT WRITING BACK, avoiding emotional conversation they don't trust you enough to engage in, and they will ignore you. This isn't to say they haven't thought about you. They are probably thinking about you none-stop, they just can't engage conversations, which require emotional commitments they aren't capable of. They don't know what to tell you. They are jealous but they cannot deal with jealousy. Though known as the wicked sign of the zodiac, which you don't want to cross, Scorpio usually has a very loving, passionate and understanding nature about them. They probably want the best for you and in time may even become a friend OR a very hated enemy who makes you feel awkward because they LOOK at you, but yet, SAY NOTHING.
CANCER (June 21-July 21): If you are the one who got away, Cancer won't forget you, they will play you like a bad track on repeat-- they will take you into the shell. They might even move on, but they will move on with the ghost in their emotional backpack, simply because Cancer finds it so hard to be alone and Cancer loves to self-destruct--even if this means playing the records of the past on repeat. They thrive in relationships and therefore get over their pasts within their private shell or through intense excursion, or new flirtation. Cancer is a very emotional sign, so if someone they adored got away, then it may take a very long time to truly move on. The coin is easily flipped here, however, as Cancer can be so needy, and desperate to protect someone of the opposite sex, they may just rush back into a relationship (of some kind) simply because Cancer is shit when living in complete solitude even if 'alone' is a place where they often retreat. Cancer has maternal/paternal instincts, which cannot go ignored, therefore they feel the need to have someone they can sincerely care for and share life with. Without that Cancer becomes very moody and uninspired. They like Pisces, need a lot of reassurance and with these signs, it often can't come from within, which is why they crave a partner and true love to the extended degree, which they do. These signs will achieve this easily, but they need to deal with the emotions from the past, which are blocking them.

If Cancer left you, it's because they were the one worth leaving. They make amazing partners when they love you truly, and if they don't, they can be shady, bitchy, unresponsive and un-affectionate. It's not entirely all or nothing, but you'll be able to tell if he/she is not happy with you. The moods of a Cancer are ever-changing but very sincere in their execution. Cancer will stick around until they are through, and they might just stick around so long that it makes you even more pissed when they left, but spare yourself, a crappy cancer is a kick in the junk, you don't want any part of it!
LIBRA (September 23-October 22): You need to re-direct your focus, you are likely the one who got away for many. You're not really the type to sit and pine over one person. You'll move on because for you, relationships should bring joy and not drama. You want to enjoy life to the fullest and if people try to bring you down with their emotional BS, pain or suffering (caused by you), then you are more likely to straight out ignore it and peace. You can't help it if you're living an awesome life, you do what you what, right? Wrong! Libra, as much as you'd like to think, life is not all play and jokes. Sometimes you actually have to step up to the plate and be emotional. Emotional, Libra will be if you got away from them, they aren't often in the position of caring or even giving anyone their sole, true and entire commitment. Libra is charming and lovable, but they aren't likely to give you everything that you want right away because they are too busy weighing out the scales of other prospects. Libra is capable of having more than one pursuit, crush or sexual interest at the same time. Sex can just be play for the Libra, they are capable of removing emotion from the equation and will do this, but don't be surprised when they don't want anything. Some people under this sign cannot be held down, by anyone, and the moment you try, you will be rebuffed. If you go along for the flight you might get something out of it in time, but it won't be storybook, it will be interesting and if you are lucky, so fucking worth it!

LEO (July 22-August 22): You might be so hard-pressed by the one who got away that you never truly loved again with the same, open sincerity. I know a Leo male who fell in love at 12, got hurt, and never opened up again. For some, especially for a king or queen like character, the pain to the pride can be too much to bear. For her, she might just stalk the fuck out of you until you either start worshiping her again or try to plot her fictional murder. Leo is a tough one because they love very intensely, meaning that if they love you, they want to take it to the next level. Ask any Leo, they have dated a lot of people, and not in a dry, lame manner, but in a passionate, loving and memorable fashion. If Leo go away, it can be hard to get over, simply because most Leos look so good on paper. There are certain qualities that good Lions have, which are hard to forget, and you could just totally see you guys together OMG.
IF Leo is a dick, they are a huge dick. They will be so invested in their own ego that they will step on you if they need to. They are flaky, remember this, and if he/she is not into you expect to be flaked around. If Leo puts their mates before you, it's honestly because they aren't that into you. Simple, twisted and weird to say, but likely true. Leo is fucking loyal but if you don't feel a sense of loyalty from them, move on. If they are into you, you'll know it. The make all the right moves and treat you with the same respect, which they demand back. Never mind, you have to respect Leo a bit more, naturally.
ARIES (March 20-April 19): You're not the type to let anyone get away with a true concern and even if they do, and it bothers you, you won't let people know. You don't want to be that person, to anyone. You're need for control prevents you from being weak about matters of the heart because you won't let the opposite sex see you vulnerable. You have to hustle as an Aries, you have to be self-involved and focused. If anyone interferes with this-- they won't stick around. Aries is stubborn so if they aren't interested in you anymore, you will know it. They will flat out ignore you (even if they expect YOU to come to them in the first place). They will be mean to you. They will argue with you. They will be bitch you. They won't make time for you. They will fuck your best friend. They will do whatever, in order to let you know that they are no longer interested in you. Aries does not let people in easily, so good fucking luck if you like them and feel insecure about it. Good chance is that this insecurity arose with good reason, considering that if Aries were truly into you, you'd never doubt it. If Aries is hard done by (especially if Aries has been hard done by in his past life), they too will have a hard time coming back from this because this almost never happens to the ram. Aries, is rarely the person who is heart broken, because they keep their heart under steel plated glass, they don't open themselves up to getting hurt. If society were to take a poll I wouldn't be surprised if it stated that a vast majority of Aries found their true love, a lot later in life. In this case the suppressed anger will be hard to deal with. Maybe he punched the new guy you are with, maybe you've gotten some seriously evil looks/competitive jabs from her, but at the same time, it's likely Aries will play the friendly card, and fuck your head over. Why let you know I ever care? Aries is no body's puppy dog and not about to give you that kind of validation ever. Aries has a sense of self-worth and isn't about to suspend this for anyone.
VIRGO (August 23-September 22): You are likely the one who got away, but you have a knack for coming back. Virgo doesn't know when they are done. They have a gambler mentality and will weigh out the pros and cons of a given relationship until they are blue in the face. The Virgo doesn't make sudden move, they calculate, they think before they move, before they speak, and before they execute. They might be holding their phone in the air, with their finger on send, contemplating whether or not they should message you. Keep in mind if Virgo left you, it's because they can't give you what you want. If you start to act too lovey-dovey or available, Virgo will freak and need space. They can't do stereotypical love. Stemmed from a critical nature, they react well to the truth and won't be easily wooed. They want your attention but they want the attention of other things,  and if they got away, they will only want your attention when it suites their own personal needs. If you got away from Virgo, they won't forget about you. You will stay forever in their mind and they will pine over you, they might make subtle moves to get you back, but Virgo doesn't like to take chances on things they can't control the outcome of.
IF they know you are 100% down for them at any given time then they will use this notion as a get-out-of-jail-free card for the next time they need some loving, but don't get all pent up on what it means. Virgo will be the best fucking partner in crime/catch of the year if they are into you, but when Virgo isn't comfortable with them self they will self-destruct in a honest fashion, which will only fall poorly on you. Anything emotional Virgo is unprepared to deal with -- they will ignore. Never try to tell a Virgo their business. The best Virgo advice, is do fucking nothing until you hear from them. They need to know your gone in order for them to come back, and they will, but you can't make this too easy -- you have to realize that Virgo wants what they can't have, so be irresistible. If you truly need to talk it out or want to know where you stand, Virgo is likely to directly tell, Virgo is likely to respond because they don't want to burn bridges. Virgo has a voodoo that they do, if your not careful they will cast a sexy spell on you.

Trust always comes into play with the one who got away. The actions of that past person might make it hard for you to open up and realize that not everyone is going to dispose of you so quickly. Trust people, because if you don't, how do you ever expect to meet anyone worth being with?

My favourite Virgo rapper, wrote a song about being a Virgo! 

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